Friday, December 10, 2010

Injury scare for Sachin Tendulkar

Satire on recent news headline

CAPE TOWN : Oh my god!!!! The world No. 1 cricket team, team India suffered a major injury scare as the legendry,  greatest cricket player of the world of all time Sachin Tendulkar  fractionally escaped unhurt  after he was hit on the helmet by a rising delivery from fast bowler uncapped Umesh Yadav during pre-series training at coach Gary Kristen's academy, jako rakhe saiyan maar sake na koi, chak de! Sachin

How dare a youngster who has not even played a single test match can bowl a short pitch raising delivery to the legendry Sachin, didn't the coach told him that we Indian batsmen are shit scared of short pitch raising delivery, youngster are suppose to bowl only over pitch bowl outside the off stump or on the leg stump, if at all he likes to bowl short bowl he should bowl outside the off stump and should not raise above waist. Look at him he is from Vidharba only one player ever played for India from Vidharba was C. K. Naidu in whole of Indian cricket history and legendry Sachin is from Mumbai which has produced hundreds of players for the nation, we should send Umesh Yadav back immediately in the next flight to India and BCCI should not select any player from Vidharba for next 50 years, click here for online petition.

A secrete email to our office from South Africa said that Gary Kristen was seen in a club with an agent of South African bookie, that's why he asked Sachin to play on an underprepared pitch which got uneven bounce, there was a betting on Sachin that he will not be playing the first test match between South Africa and India on Dec. 16th 2010
Our expert has specially researched for our readers that Sachin's helmet is a custom built helmet very  different from others, the company which manufactures is SGM, they say that main body of the helmet is prepared with fiber carbon and 30% of titanium that's why it gets that strength helmet can sustain a bouncer with a speed of 300+ kmph, more than twice the speed of Shoaib Akhtar's fastest delivery.  Cost of the helmet is 35,000 $

We spoke to Sadanand Tichkuley who is the watchman of Sachin's house about this incident, he said that before every foreign tour Sachin goes to Siddhi Vinayak temple and prays Ganpati Bappa has saved him from the injury, we cross checked with the pujari Gaitonde of Siddhi Vinayak temple, he confirmed that Sachin had came to do pooja before he left to South Africa

We spoke to our cricket expert Saba Karim, how Sachin could have avoided the bouncer, Saba Karim pointed that the ball had pitched outside the off and short and was coming on to middle stump at shoulder height, what Sachin could have done is kept the bat down and slightly bend back with eyes on the ball, ball would have passed to wicket keeper in front of his face, else if he wanted to play the shot he should have gone on back foot and shuffle on to off stump and hooked the bouncer with rolling his wrist, this ball would have gone to four on square leg boundary, instead he removed the eyes from the ball and tried to duck that's why it hit his helmet, South African bowlers will be watching this, they now know the weakness of Sachin they will be bowling similar delivery in the test and Sachin may end up giving catch to wicket keeper, slip quadrant or short leg, but we know Sachin is a great fighter he will come back with the counter attack and hopes that this time around he completes his 50th century.

Don't forget to watch our video section to watch the discussion on this topic by our expert panel.

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(C) Ramesh Iyer

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